Tuesday, October 5, 2010

October is breast cancer awareness month...

It's been a year since I met Carmen, who is the inspiration for my art project, Beauty beyond breast cancer. This has been a long process as we are still trying to schedule times so that I can continue with her story. But it is not just about Carmen, there are far too many women that this non-discriminating disease strikes. Age, ethnicity and even heredity do not always factor into who will hear the dreaded words from their doctors... I'm sorry, the lump we discovered is cancerous. I'm sure you could hear a pin drop as their minds raced and an inaudible scream welled up in their throats.

But for the grace of God, go I... As a woman, a mother of a daughter and grandmother to 2 girls; I can feel their pain. Breast cancer is not in my family history but it remains a fear for me. I have watched a friend lose a sister at the age of 39, leaving behind a 9 year old daughter and a loving husband to fend for themselves. She fought a long battle, on her terms and lived her life as best she could.

Breast cancer is not always a death sentence but that thought goes through everyones mind at one point or another and I am always amazed at the strength these women exhibit and how much is drawn upon from their friends, family, and even strangers when they need it.

I have read many blogs and links to support groups and am so drawn to their stories, the emotions that they share and their willingness to open up their hearts and souls in order to help someone else cope with living with cancer.

You never know where your life will lead you or on what path you will happen to meet someone who can make a change in your life. Art has always been an expression of emotions, through light and shadows you create a mood, with colors vivid or subdued you set the stage. I hope that the story I tell will touch you and open your hearts to others because it is with an open heart, that so much love comes in and flows out.




By chance a woman from PA saw my comment on a breast cancer link and reached out to me. She told me that she would like to be a part of my photo essay on breast cancer and that she had her last chemo treatment the day before. She attached a picture of her and her family on that day and I felt compelled to her endearing, bright smile. She wasn't quite in the NJ/NY metro area but I'd have been hard pressed not to drive 2-1/2 hours for the chance to meet this remarkable, positive, lovely, young woman who was on her journey - life with breast cancer. Mary did not have a mastectomy, the lump was removed leaving a small scar. Six months of chemo behind her and radiation treatments ahead of her - her journey begins.



In the short time that I spent at their home this past Sunday, I just touched upon who they are. Dave is her rock, the girls are what keeps her going and brings so much laughter and chaos into her daily life that she has little time to wallow in her own sorrow and pain. That is not to say that she wasn't able to focus on herself, her illness or her needs but that the family life gave her the levity that she needed.





I learned of Mary's support staff beside her loved ones,family and friends which included her neighbors who prepared meals for them so that she would have one less thing to worry about during her monthly chemo sessions. Chemo drains so much of your strength and with young children, you need as much as you can garnish. There was a hair cutting party that Malia and Alexa were a part of. They cut her pigtails and she donned a pixie do before the loss of her tresses. The girls are young but understood that Mommy was sick and needed their help. They were a big part of her joy and helped keep her balanced.

I am sure there were plenty of dark and dismal times when she was wrapped tightly in Dave's arms at night. Fear of the unknown comes into play and can be hard to shake. In first meeting Mary, none of that was lingering. Dave thinks she is incredible and her strength most likely bolstered his own. They would fight this disease which ravishes one's body, trying to seep its cold fingers into one's heart and soul. The power of love!