Letting go and moving forward

As survivors, we seek hope in the ruins of despair. It doesn't matter what you are going through, we can all relate to feeling the darkness and loneliness that despair brings to our doorsteps. Feelings we must recognize, accept and try to let go of. The letting go part is the hardest, we cling to things for fear of the unknown. We hold our pain close to our hearts instead of releasing it and opening our hearts to be filled with all the blessings we do have. And we do have many, which is realized when you start to count them, even the smallest ones.
I wake every morning, happy to have woken. A new day - a new start. I try to let go of the little hurts that plague me, not the physical aches, but the ones we try to brush aside. This is where hope comes in. But hope alone can't change anything unless you are willing to change. Why do we think that if we keep walking down the same path, that we won't meet upon the same obstacles. Stubborn? Stupid? We think we can change something, someone solely with our persistence or our love.

I am as stubborn as they come, I used to say that I would bang my head against a wall trying to break through and that my daughter would say hmmmmm a door, let me go that way. I would think ahhhhhh, the path of least resistance, that's not a good road to take... HELLO! yes sometimes it is. Now I only bang my head against it a few times before I say DUH. Jene calls me a "slow learner", sometimes I am, BUT I am learning ;-).

When did I have my first real epiphany - nearly 20 years ago (hence the "slow learner" status). It is a long story and not really relevant other than to say you can't always effect the change you want especially if it has to do with another person - all you can do is change how you deal with it. You can only affect change in yourself, in order to let go of the suffering in your life. It doesn't take it away, it just allows you to function in a emotionally healthier way that leads to growth, peace and serenity. (This is something that just about everyone is aware of and having my degree in Pscyhology made me more aware but then there's the "talking the talk & then the walking the walk" syndrome).

Carmen has enough to deal with breast cancer and yet finds herself walking down the same road in other areas of her life. I hope that along with the physical pain that she will overcome that she can let go of all her pain and heal from the inside out.

And while Jene and I want to help her tell her story, it is because it is not something that is unique to Carmen. Breast cancer affects nearly 1 in 7 women. It is a story of what women go through, their fight to survive, to live a full life again, to love and be loved because of who they are. But isn't this what all of us want anyway - to be understood, to be comforted, to be held close when we are scared to death, to connect to one another, to be a part of the whole picture.

Good luck today Carmen, and to all the other's out there - good luck to you too.