Tears give way to laughter when love fills a room.

Friday night Jene and I were invited over to Carmen's to meet some of her family and closest friends. Carol, a friend of 30 years, and Carmen's mother were there to greet us. It was here that I came to realize that Carmen, the daughter is her mother's namesake and family calls the mother
Carmen and her Maritza. We had time to speak alone to her mother and Carol (a long time cancer survivor). Carol has fibermyalgia and is not always feeling strong enough to leave her house but she made her way from the city to be by her dear friend's side. It was a strange gathering that touched upon "Tuesdays With Moorie". Carmen orchestrated this for our sake; as a way of getting to know her better because we are the product of those around us and who we are to them helps define who we are.


Her mother told me about raising 2 daughters alone and that sometimes her discipline may have seemed harsh but she needed them to learn life's lessons because she was working and wasn't home all the time. It's not easy being the mother, father and breadwinner. We raise our children as best we can under the circumstances. We are MOTHERS. This is not to say that fathers don't do the same but in most cases the rearing of the children is at the hands of the mothers. Carmen's father was pretty much out of the picture when her parents separated.

Tears flowed as we spoke of a mother's pain, of feeling helpless when your child is sick, wishing to God that He transfer this disease to you and spare your child. Watching over her is not enough, being there is not enough. My heart breaks for this woman I had met only moments ago. I could be in her place. I have gone through the same anguish recently crawling into my daughter's hospital bed when what was thought of as her asthma symptoms was actually pulmonary embolisms on both her lungs - blood clots. My daughter was dying slowly and no one realized at first. There is no greater love than a mother's love and it doesn't stop.


Your babies are your babies at any age. To see an otherwise strong woman weep, can bring me to my knees. I wanted to crumble. Quickly I try to distance myself emotionally, I am here to tell a story because that is what I do.









Lilliana, her older sister came next, feeling a bit awkward in the spotlight. Her daughter Evita brought her baby. We were in the midst of 4 generations. The baby brought smiles of joy into the room, little did she know that she was the emotional balance. Little by little, cousins and friends gathered.
Tears stained cheeks, sobs muffled by tight embraces, strong arms pulled Carmen in closer to their hearts.



Arrangements secretly made brought cousin, Lalo up from Puerto Rico to help bolster her strength. Jene & I explained how important this small cluster of people were. How we would gain a better insight into how she grew up "Maritza". The 3 cousins, Jeanette, Lalo and Maritza, cohorts in their youth spent together in P.R. Stories of sneaking out at night, screams of laughter broke through the somberness of the evening. Carmen is in her element.








Each spoke briefly, Evita wrote and read her feelings aloud to us - her anger and frustrations rang true in her words. ... "F" cancer and the way it robs a person of security..." "I hate being faced with her morality"... "I want to hear her laughter without the falling silence moments afterward" "I want to turn back the hands of time....Her fears echoed what other's held back. How dare this disease cripple a family, tossing them into their own isolated hells. It strips a woman of a part of her body, the scars will be visible, the trauma will be lasting but we all hope that Carmen Maritza will prevail. That her heart will remain full of the love that filled the room and will get her through the next phase of her life.
Thank you Harry, Carol, Jessie, Audrey, Debbie, Jeanette, Andy, Evita, Lalo, Michael and Carmen for sharing your stories with us and for bringing smiles back to Carmen's face. It's never easy to face cancer but it is a lot harder if you face it alone.
I will hold Carmen, her family and friends in the light.
Namaste.